Welp. I'm baaaaaaaaack! I 100% fell off the blogging train while I was getting through the summer wedding season, then getting pregnant, then the fall wedding AND family season and now I'm.back. I kind of figured what better way to get back to it than by going on and on about how excited I am for BABY NUMBER TWO!!!
Yes this was planned, yes we're going to find out if it's a boy or girl, no we won't tell you the name, yes I'm going to be huge, yes I'm sure it's not twins, no, you may not touch my belly.
Baby number two will be here around the end of May, before Charlie is even two. Yup. Two under two. We want our kids close in age, we want diapers out of the house sooner, I want to be done having babies asap, we aren't getting any younger- the 'this is a great idea' list goes on and on. But now we are starting to realize how nuts things are going to get. We're hoping that while life may be kinda crazy for a while, it'll pay off in the end. So, we're in it. We're headed for life with two under two and here are my thoughts on that.
-Oh shit. I feel really grateful that I have some really fantastic women in my life who can offer support and advice as I try to navigate motherhood. After talking with a few of them, I've learned a few things about #twoundertwo. Like, life will be hell for approximately 6-8 months. Sleeping even less-living in a haze-no amount of coffee is enough-hell. One friend told me that once you get through that initial shock of life with a toddler and a newborn (which lasts the aforementioned 6-8 months) things start to balance and you find your new normal. It's just easier to find a new normal when you go from 2 to 3 so the shock sticks around a bit longer when you go from 3 to 4. They have been really honest about just how crazy life can be. If you know me, you know I'm into honesty- no matter how ugly it is- so while I'm trembling a little, I appreciate the heads-up. But ya know, they've also told me how great it can be. When your babies are still small enough that you can cuddle with both of them in your lap; when they can grow up together and play and have so many things in common; when you have the moments of looking at your partner and sharing the known 'what the hell is happening right now?!' look. Those are the gems that I'm looking forward to. I'm not afraid of not sleeping and I'm not afraid of a crazy house of littles. On the contrary, I'm actually kind of excited for it <3 So, yeah, we're trying to prepare mentally as much as we can, but when that baby gets here, shit's gonna hit the fan and we'd appreciate all the meals you can muster!
-One. Charlie, my sweet, darling, wonderful little boy is about to have his world rocked. His feelings are my ONLY reservation in having another baby this soon. Just this morning we got him to point at my tummy and say 'baby', but he certainly can't conceptualize the idea of another baby. No matter how many baby dolls we buy for him and how much reading we do, he'll just be sad that things will be so suddenly different. Then he'll be sad and angry because there's another thing taking all of mom and dad's attention. It won't always be like that and our hope is that he and his sibling will be close, but it already hurts my heart a little thinking about how sad he may be in the beginning. Then again, he's pretty easy going and is a mega lover, so I'm hoping he's into giving ALL of the snuggles.
-Two. As in, baby number two, NOT twins. I already feel like I'm slacking on this baby. With Charlie, Daniel and I read our Pregnancy Day By Day book *every* day. We started doing bump pictures at 10 weeks. On the two occasions (I literally remember when they were) that I forgot my prenatal, I felt extreme guilt. I drank zero caffeine, ate whole foods and was drinking 72oz of water a day. Now? We're already a day late for my 14 week bump shot (and we didn't even start until last week). We read our book once a few weeks ago and since then I think Charlie has taken it somewhere. I HAVE BEEN DRINKING SODA. I don't have a sweet tooth but with this baby I haven't been able to get enough sugar. Donuts, cookies, soda- gimme all of it. There's been coffee. I've forgotten my vitamins more times than I can count and I feel like some days I forget I'm even pregnant. Although it's getting harder to forget since I'm already starting to bloat and look easily 20 weeks. Oh yeah, if you didn't already know, I get HUGE when I'm pregnant. I get huge and I get huge early. And it's already starting at 14 weeks. The biggest thing I came away with from several coffee dates was 'don't forget to take pictures of baby number two'. Their first year will go by even faster than baby number one's and before you know it, you haven't taken a photo in two weeks. I think I need to create an Instagram challenge for myself so I don't forget- anyone have any cute ideas?
-Three. Being a trio is amazing. Just like being a duo was amazing. I mourned the loss of our two-ness when Charlie came along and I'm going to have to mourn the loss of our three-ness when baby two comes. I already cry thinking about it not just being the three of us. I know that I will soon fall in love with our four time, but knowing that I have to say goodbye to Three is hard. Just like Charlie gets all of our attention, we get all of his, and it'll be weird to start sharing that with another little.
-Birth. We met with our doula a couple weeks ago and we both fell in love with her in the first 5 minutes of our meeting. I detailed my birth story, the people involved, how I think the on duty midwife thought my waters were broken when they weren't and I wasn't actually in labor, the bad midwife and nurses that were on duty when I was in labor- all of it. We kind of decided that I had a bad situation stacked on a crappy nurse stacked on crappier situation and that this birth will be different. My doula this time around is actually a bereavement doula and has experience helping women with past traumatic labors (as well as loss) power through. I'm not afraid of birth- I'm kind of excited to give it another go and I'm really thankful that Jess is along on the ride with us! Anyone with past traumatic labors who has positive insight on second births? hmu. By the way, if you want to know why we choose to work with a doula...well...I think I'll save that for another blog post :)
If you've stuck with all my rambling so far, then you deserve to see some cute pictures of my cute little family. These photos are by my girl Maggie of Iron + Lace Photography!